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每個人都會有和別人不一樣的地方,不要因此把自己看成『異類』,埋頭做鴕鳥。抬起頭來輕松一笑,你會發現事情根本沒你想得那麼『糟糕』。
男孩閉上了眼睛。他討厭這一刻。知道這一刻就要來了只能讓情況更糟糕。
『約翰,約翰·狄龍?』老師大聲叫道。男孩微微睜開一只眼,看到旁邊那排人裡有一個金發男孩笑容滿面地舉起手喊:『到!』他的牙齒潔白而整齊。所有的女孩都轉過去看他。他笑得更燦爛了。
『珍妮弗,珍妮弗·法恩斯沃思?』老師接著叫道。男孩把雙手搭在頭上,好像只要他用力往下壓就能找個地方躲起來似的。一個長發垂順、耳翼上方別著蝴蝶結的女生舉起手來。她說:『我叫珍,就叫我珍吧。』
男孩把兩只胳膊交疊在一起,將頭枕在上面,用兩只手把頭完全遮了起來。老師猶豫了一下。他知道那意味著老師已經念到班級出勤簿上他的名字了。他最終還是聽到了那讓他整整怕了一上午的聲音:『邁倫,邁倫——』老師頓了很長時間。『格雷布什諾科瓦茲?』他緊咬牙齒,只等著竊笑聲起,然後輕輕豎起食指。老師沒看到是誰。她又低頭看了眼花名冊,然後更大聲地叫道:『邁倫·H·Z·格雷布什諾科瓦茲?』哦,不要!發發善心吧!男孩像觸了電似的,噌地一下坐直了。但還是太晚了。『邁倫·赫爾曼·佐爾特蘭·格雷布什諾科瓦茲?』
這一次,全班爆笑起來。邁倫舉起手來,臉漲得通紅,羞怯地答了聲『到』。『安靜!』老師斥責全班同學,同時向邁倫報以同情的一瞥。邁倫只想在桌子底下找個地縫鑽進去。
下課後,他納悶兒同學們為什麼沒刻薄地奚落他。他們蜂擁著衝向那期望中的自由之地——走廊。約翰·狄龍從後面撞了他一下,搞得他身子前傾撞上了珍妮弗·法恩斯沃思的後背。珍妮弗猛地轉過身來,兩手緊握書本擋在胸前說:『你撞到我了!』邁倫正要跟她道歉,約翰·狄龍從他身後走上前來。『是我的錯,』他說,『是我不小心撞到了——對了,你叫什麼名字來著?』好哇,邁倫想,又來這一套。假裝忘了我的名字,逼我大聲說出來,然後好趁機取笑我。不如早點了事。『邁倫,』他輕聲說,『我叫邁倫·格雷布什諾科瓦茲。』
出乎意料的是,約翰並沒有奚落或者嘲弄他的想法,而只是友好地拍了一下他的後背。『好的,邁倫,我記住了。』珍妮弗也對他笑著說:『對不起,我錯怪你了,邁倫。』
邁倫驚奇地呆立在原地,其他同學從他身邊繞過去,魚貫而出。他把厚厚的眼鏡往鼻梁上方推了推。直到這時,他纔看到黑板上的板書。這是他第一次看到老師的名字,只見紫色的大字寫著:比格休諾茲布姆弗特小姐。
整整一個上午,邁倫第一次露出了笑容。畢竟,這個學年或許不至於太糟糕。
The boy closed his eyes. He hated this moment. Knowing it was coming just made it worse.
『John, John Dillon?』the teacher called out. The boy opened one eye a tiny bit.He saw a blond kid in the next row raise his hand and say 『Here!』with a big smile. He had perfect teeth. All the girls turned to look at him. His smile got bigger.
『Jennifer, Jennifer Farnsworth?』the teacher continued. The boy put both hands on his head as if he could hide if he just pushed down hard enough. A girl with long, flowing hair and a butterfly pin above her ear raised her hand.『It」s Jen,』she said.『Just Jen.』
The boy folded his arms and rested his head on them, completely covering his head with his hands. The teacher hesitated. He knew that meant she had come to his place on the class attendance list. Finally, he heard what he had dreaded all morning.『Myron, Myron——』There was a long pause. 『Glebschnockerwatz?』 He clenched his teeth, waiting for the snickers to come, and then slightly raised his index finger. The teacher didn」t see it. She looked down again at her class list and said in an even louder voice.『Myron H.Z.Glebschnockerwatz?』Oh, no! Have mercy! The boy sat bolt upright as if from an electric shock. But it was too late.『Myron Herman Zoltran Glebschnockerwatz?』
This time the class erupted in laughter.Myron」s face turned beet red as he raised his hand.『Here,』he said in a timid voice.『Hush!』the teacher scolded the class while giving him a sympathetic look. Myron just wanted to disappear under his desk.
When the class ended, he wondered why he didn」t hear the cruel taunts of his fellow students. They were all crowding together and pushing toward the promised freedom of the hallway. John Dillon bumped him from behind, causing Myron to pitch forward right into the back of Jennifer Farnsworth. Jennifer whirled around clutching her books tightly to her chest.『You bumped me!』Myron was about to apologize when John Dillon stepped from behind him.『It was my fault,』he said.『I accidentally knocked——hey, what」s your name again?』Oh sure, Myron thought. That old trick. Pretend to forget my name so that you can make fun of it by forcing me to say it out loud. Might as well get it over with.『Myron,』he whispered.『My name」s Myron Glebschnockerwatz.』
To his surprise, John didn」t even try to taunt or tease. Instead, he just gave him a friendly slap on the back.『Right, Myron. I won」t forget.』Jennifer smiled at him.『Sorry I blamed you, Myron.』
Myron was so surprised he just stood there as the rest of the class filed out around him. He pushed his thick glasses higher on his nose. It was then he saw the writing on the board. This was the first time he was seeing the teacher」s name written in big purple letters: Miss Bighewjnozbumfoot.
Myron smiled for the first time that morning. Maybe this school year wouldn」t be so bad after all.(摘自2010年7月《英語沙龍》)
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